The Unhoneymooners: Breakdown and Book Review

Image of book provided by author for purposes of book review and discussion. Copyright © 2024 Christina Lauren. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

SPOILERS Obviously

Dear Storytellers,

I feel some background info is required here in order to understand my review If you haven’t read the book. So I will speed run through a breakdown of the story so I can get to my qualms in my next couple posts.

The story begins with Olive’s twin sister Ami marrying Ethan’s brother Dane. Ami managed to get coupons, discounts, and win sweepstakes to pay for the majority of the wedding, even the honeymoon.

The free buffet which offers seafood causes everyone to get violently ill. Everyone except Olive and Ethan who “hate each other.”

Each respective spouse offers the trip to their sibling. The rules of the sweepstakes are really strict so Olive has to pretend to be Ami. Meanwhile, Ethan is in the clear because only Dane’s last name was given as the plus one.

The two go off to Hawaii together and have to pretend to be the newly weds in front of hotel staff, Olive’s future boss, and Ethan’s ex girlfriend.

They eventually fall in like and lust. I refuse to say love, because besides the fact that I wasn’t feeling it, Ethan doesn’t treat Olive the way you treat someone you love. Honestly, he doesn’t even treat her with the respect of someone you like.

During this unhoneymoon, Dane’s less than stellar treatment of Ami (which is an understatement) becomes apparent to Olive when Ethan’s dense behind let’s it slip that his brother has been cheating on her sister.

He does not realize this is the case initially and remains in denial, refusing at every possible saving grace opportunity to believe it. He also accuses Olive of tricking him to get the truth. Um what?

via GIPHY

Eventually, It comes out that the misunderstanding (because of course it was) and reason why they “hate each other” all stems from Dane telling Ethan to stay away from her because she’s mean, angry, bitter and not worth it.

But really Dane just wanted to cheat and use his brother as an excuse without the twins figuring it out.

Originally, Olive hated Ethan because when they first met, he gave her a look which she assumed was him being judgmental while she was eating cheese curds, since she’s “fat”.

But as a lot of readers of the genre could probably tell you, “book fat girl protagonist” in a romance are usually just thicque girls on the right side of sexy curvy.

So Ethan’s look that first meeting wasn’t one of judgement but rather one of ‘me likey likey’.

via GIPHY

Olive’s assumption causes her to be standoffish and I guess a little mean to Ethan any other time they see each other. Thus, proving Dane’s assessment of Olive to Ethan “right”.

Ethan also likes to get under her skin by continuing to stare at her like a creep and by refusing to get her name right, calling her Olivia instead of Olive.

I guess the book was going for sexy tension and witty banter with that, because what is a recipe for enemies to lovers without those two ingredients? But for me, it just didn’t work here.

Ethan somehow manages to convince Olive that they don’t know everything about their siblings relationship and should just mind their own business because somehow that will make her a sunnier person.

But to me that just sounds like he’s allowed to know his brother extremely well and make assumptions about his character (especially in regards to his behavior in relationships for some reason).

However, Olive is not afforded the same sentiments and can’t possible know her twin sister as well as he knows his brother.

It’s hypocritical and also pretty coinvent how that leaves his brother protected and getting what he wants but leaves her sister hanging out to dry. But of course they fly home deciding to mind their business and stay together.

Later they go out intending to meet up with their siblings and surprise, surprise, Dane shows up alone without a care in the world where Ami is. He just assumes she’s caught up at work or something.

When Ethan goes to the bathroom Dane proceeds to hit on Olive. Boy, they’re twins! You got one at home that looks just like her. What are you doing?

Of course Ethan doesn’t believe her when she tells him. Dane makes up some excuse about her misunderstanding and after everything Ethan still can’t put two and two together.

He has the absolute audacity to ask her “if she’s going to be able to get over this and let it go?“ Ummmm sir, are you serious?!

I mean I know one thing men will always have is the audacity but come on now! There is a pattern emerging here. Rub two brains together and figure it out. You can do it!

via GIPHY

Of course she can’t let it go. So he breaks up with her.

Then she loses her job that she had for a day because she comes clean about lying to her boss when she ran into him in Hawaii. This forces her to have to take a job in her cousins restaurant.

She also has to break it to her sister that her husbands a POS. Her sister, of course decides to shoot the messenger and takes it out on her, saying some very awful and hurtful things in the process.

Ami does some sleuthing and find out Olive is telling the truth. She sets a trap to prove it. Ethan shows up during said trap also finding out the truth (that he was already MADE aware of several times). Olive closes the door in both their faces.

Ami eventually allows Ethan to apologize to her. After which, she takes part with the rest of the family in helping Ethan grand gesture Olive AT HER JOB (notice I said grand gesture not apologize).

Of course, Olive forgives him…unfortunately. Two years later they’re back in Hawaii with him attempting to propose on the beach.

Happily ever after?

The End.

via TENOR

Rating: Did not give what it was supposed to. Unsatisfactory.

Now, let’s dig a little deeper shall we?

If you enjoyed this breakdown and would like the read the rest of my review click the links below to check out my next couple posts for more on my qualms with Ethan, Dane, and Ami.

Consider supporting the blog by clicking the button below.